Welcome to NOT The MotoGP News – our blog by Guy Anderson. Oh – and when you’re done, make sure to go follow Guy... NOT the MotoGP News: Misano

Welcome to NOT The MotoGP News – our blog by Guy Anderson. Oh – and when you’re done, make sure to go follow Guy on Twitter – @SirGuyGuisborne

Misano…

…We go round and round and round and round
Until we pick it up again.

Yep, it’s the backwards running, corner tightening, we didn’t design it like this track.

Running a race at Misano is probably one of the easier decisions DORMA have to make. Take a look at the UK MotoGP for instance… Run that on a windswept former airfield where the spectators need the Hubble Space Telescope to see the bikes, yet it is adored by the riders. Or chose Sh*ttington where in years to come archaeologists will coo and aaaah at the heaps of rubble the organisers call “stands.”

But Misano? Sun, sea and something else. Italy, Rimini, what’s not to like? Well the rain apparently. Practice, qualifying and the races were all wetter than fishes fanny.

What this meant was that come Sunday, Moto3 had the sort of grid shuffle shenanigans not seen since someone shouted “free bar” in the media centre. Yep riders were penalised places all over the shop for dicking around on Saturday afternoon, when they should have been concentrating on qualifying. Numpties.

How many “usual suspects” are there in Moto3? 5? 10? More like 15-20; any number of these testosterone-fired up kids can either be at the front of at the back in any race. But the wet conditions meant that almost immediately the race became more strung out than some of the TV coverage we have to endure. It also meant 16 riders didn’t finish; wet it may have been, but that did have the small consolation of riders gently sliding off rather than falling off a little bit faster. Except for the ones that highsided. Ouch.

Throughout the race Ro’Fanny looked the neatest and smoothest of them all as well as classy. And you know what class does; it buggers off into the distance. Martin and Mir played the waiting game, but Martin went off. Mir being brighter than a supernova kept his head and kept some points.

With two thirds of the laps done, the race was done and over. Keep your head, keep your points.

By the time the Moto2 boys went out it was proper wet as we say in the bunker of doom. We say that because most of the time we work underwater, with the occasional chance to gulp some air before the ed stands on our head.

By farthest the most sensible thing to do was to stay in bed. But not because you’d cracked your hip on Saturday, but that’s what Alex Marquez did. Ouch No2. Frankly Morbid-deli stabbed a rat and shot the holeshot, or whatever it is Randy used to say. At the same time Pasini hurtled backwards, then made it up to third. All in the opening lap. At the same time Mackenzie fell, as did Marini. Mackenzie got back on only to fall 6 laps later. Pasini went off and out as did so many others it became a bit of a game of skittles. The most significant faller was Frankly. That shook the Championship standings up a bit.

After 26 laps only eleven finishers were on the same lap as the winner. The winner? Dominatrix Egg-Shitter! Second was the other Toblerone-boy Tim Luthi. The two Swiss chocolate chompers were the only two within 1.4 seconds of another rider; everybody else was having the sort of lonely day racing they probably didn’t expect in Italy. Technically it was a perfect illustration of how to race in the wet. But as a spectacle it was like watching a puddle dry up.

It was still wet for the MotoGP race. 28 laps of splish-splashing around the circuit. But more important than that was the unmissable fact that Rossi was absent. Fed up of being beaten by Marquez, Valentino had decided that staying at home and flogging yellow towels to fans was more profitable.

Mavis Viñales had pole but that wasn’t going to worry him anymore. Pretty much the same happened in MotoGP as in the previous two races; people fell, then got back on, or didn’t. Whatever they did, just 17 finished.

Lorenzo hit the holeshot which surprised everyone except us as we’d had him down to do this (seriously). Six laps in and Lorenzo was setting the fastest lap times. This couldn’t last could it? Errrr… no. In the meantime Marquez’s foot slipped off his left footpeg as he went past the pits sending his team into a frenzy of chaotic panic. Hopefully he just did it for a laugh. Meanwhile Cal C-Low had been dicing with Miller in a bit of a thriller, but he too fell, and didn’t re-join.

All the time Michele Pirro was demonstrating that he is probably the Carlsberg test rider of MotoGP; unbelievably good stuff from the bench warmer.

All the time Markie Marquez kept his head tracking Petrucci as they pulled away from Dovi and Viñales. To be honest it did become a mixture of awe wondering how they stayed on and boredom as the field became more strung out. In the end Marquez just couldn’t avoid overtaking Petrucci to get another 5 points than second.

Maybe we do need Rossi back. But we’re not sure when that’ll be…